Struggling With Gaming FOMO

I’ve just finished Death Stranding 2. Sadly, I could not enjoy it. I could not experience it the way it wanted me to.

Making deliveries and deliberately traversing through the challenging landscape while accompanied by a brooding soundtrack — thats’s a perfect set up for a slow, cerebral, and meditative journey. And yet, I could never get into that rhythm.

I don’t think it’s game’s fault. Yes, it’s not as good as the first one, but it is still excellent. (It’s also an acquired taste, Hideo Kojima with his style, mannerisms, etc. — so don’t take my “excellent” for a recommendation!)

No, the problem was me. I was rushing to finish it. To reach the end credits before I get spoiled by some rogue social media post or some off-hand remark in a video review. To clear the way for the next big release (there are so many games coming out!) To make sure I still have time to catch up on podcasts, tv shows, and all the other pointless stuff that for some reason I want to be up-to-date with. (Why?)

I’ve put myself on a treadmill where everything feels rushed, everything feels urgent yet superficial, all the joy is being sucked out by FOMO, the backlog is looming, and spending too much time on one thing feels like a waste of time. Imagine that! Taking your time to savor things and enjoy them feels wrong. What? How does that make sense?

It doesn’t.

I did this to myself. I made my hobby into another to-do list to check off, another inbox to get to zero. How do I undo it?

I want my hobby back, I want to be able to enjoy it again. And to do that, I need to step off this damn treadmill and give myself time to immerse myself in the experience. And I know it may sound funny because — you know, I’m talking about video games, something many still consider a waste of time in itself and not a serious hobby. But it’s something that has been a part of my identity for 20+ years now. It’s important to me. Losing it is like losing a part of myself. It hurts.

To reclaim my joy I need to take a long, honest look at my behaviors and attitudes. There are adjustments I definitely need to make.

Less social media and YouTube. I really don’t need to be up to date on the newest or upcoming releases and their reviews. Playing games that are in the news gives me a false sense of community and belonging. I’m doing what others are doing! Except, I don’t engage with them. I just silently follow the trend. I don’t participate in the discourse, I’m just a statistic in the view count or sales chart.

Trust my own gut over reviews. I need to recognize that I get influenced by reviews too much. I will try out a game that’s well-reviewed even if deep down I know it will not work for me (either because of the genre, art style, story, or whatever). I take it too far and play some games out of obligation — and then blame myself for not having a good time (everyone else seems to be enjoying it — why can’t I?) This is not a healthy mindset and it needs to stop.

Setting limits. Would setting a gaming budget or some arbitrary limit on the number of games I can purchase each year… would that be helpful?

Deeper reflection. In my journal or Obsidian entries about games I play/finish, I need to go beyond just giving it a rating and writing a mini-review. I should try asking more questions, like:

• Did you rush it? (Be honest…)
• Would you like to spend more time with it? Or has it run its course?
• What worked for you and what didn’t? (Calibrate your gaming taste.)

Let curiosity guide me, not the clock. Wander off, don’t rush the main quest just to get to the final cutscene. Let myself explore and find awe. I have my permission to take things slow.

Meta note: This entry would fit well in my journal but I don’t yet know how to feel about putting personal writing like this (I am describing a personal struggle) out on the blog. Let’s say it’s an experiment. This is me reaching out to people who feel the same way. Do you have similar struggles? — hey, we’re not alone! Have you figured it out? — please do share what helped you!

Thanks for reading! —Chris